Showing posts with label Princes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Princes. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Happy Holidays...

Yeah, yeah, I know it's WAY too early to be thinking about anything other than Halloween costumes, candy corn and that sort of thing. But in the world of a procrastinator, if you want to get anything Christmasy related *done*, you better start right around the first day of fall. Especially if you are as picky as I am.

I've blogged before with much wailing and gnashing of teeth about the lamentable state of little boy "fashion". I swore my son would only wear suits and ties and so on. And he does when it counts. Little dude has SUCH an affinity for Thomas the Tank and Uh-QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN (Lighting McQueen to the uninitiated) that in order to stop embarassing meltdown moments in the store, I've caved and bought him some of it. It all started with the unfortunate incident where Little Dude peed himself and his carseat right before grocery shopping at the SuperTarget. I ended up with a diaperclad boy looking desparately for ANYTHING that was cheap and fit. When he saw Uh-QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN it was all over for me. I was desparate and it just snowballed from there.

What does that have to do with Christmas? Well, not a whole lot. However, while I can find a zillion and one licensed shirts, hoodies and shorts, finding a vest and tie for Christmas portraits to be taken October 29th, has been a challenge to say the very least. Especially when I needed LIME GREEN. And shiny. To match the girls' fuschia and purple sparkly dresses. You try finding something THAT specific in Vacation Central where it's still 95 degrees and people are still wearing shorts despite it being "Fall". When you give up like me, you're doomed to make it yourself or go without. It's a good thing that costume fabric is 40% off at JoAnn's. I scored a yard of shiny green satiny polyester that has a nice stiff backing for $6. Enough to make a vest and tie with a bit leftover. But getting fabric was half the battle. You try finding a pattern small enough to fit your 2.5 year old who still wears 12-18 months in most stuff and has had to wear a belt for over a year to keep his britches up. You're in luck because McCalls makes such an item. It comes in size 2-3-4-5. Size 2 is just about perfect. A wee bit loose, but it's a vest so I can safety pin it in the back and be happy. Here's the final product:


OK, so it's not final final since it has no buttons and the tie thingy doesn't have a fastener, but close enough for government work. I have to make a run to the store to find the *perfect* buttons. But I will. And it will be good.

Next up... Halloween Costumes. Because I'm NOT spending over $100 for three costumes made of cheap crap by slave labor in China. I'm just not.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Pimp My Prince

As you know, seasonally The Mouse pimps out a princess to sell stuff, but has ANYONE noted the sheer LACK of PRINCES? Unless, of course, they are arm candy to a Princess. Here's a good idea for a reality show: Pimp My Princess... Oh wait... That's been done... It was called "The Bachelorette"....

Anyhow, I'd like to see the "Disney Prince Collection" with the manly specimens of Prince Charming The First (Snow White), Prince Charming the Second (Cinderella), Prince Phillip (Sleeping Beauty), Prince Eric (Little Mermaid), The Beast (Beauty and The Beast) & Aladdin.






Where are all the manly men???? I mean, those stories are irrelevant without the PRINCE!!!!

Where would Aurora be without Phillip? Still sleeping! That's where. Ditto Snow White with Prince Charming (who had one of the BEST songs ever - "One Song"). And Cinderella? She'd still be sweeping floors if the Prince didn't need a wife.

Ariel would still be shark bait if it weren't for having a crush on Eric. And Belle? She'd have been sold off to Gaston if it weren't for the Beast. Talk about everything in life happening for a reason... And Jasmine would have ended up with JAFAR if it weren't for her "street rat" Aladdin.

But now? Once they got their man and a leg up on society or released from the evil spell, they drop kicked good ol' Prince-y Boy like a bad habit. Is this what feminism has come to? Use 'em and lose 'em? Say it ain't so.

I'm starting to hear "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone" - Where Have All The Princes Gone? (With apologies to Paula Cole):

What’s a princess without a prince
Nothing but a window display
Sit around look pretty, isn’t it a pity
Haven’t got a thing to say
I will be so perfect if you slay all evils

CHORUS:

Where is my Prince Charming
Where is my Fairy Tale
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the princes gone

Farity tale world now, things in such whirl now
Princesses running amok
I don’t need no prince now, I’m such a big girl now
I think I’ll take a walk ‘round the block
I will be so perfect if you slay all evils

Chorus

Where is my Prince Charming
Where is my Fairy Tale
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the princes gone

I am wearing my new dress tonight
Thanks to my godmother fairy
Happy endings
Happy endings
Happy endings

Isn’t it a pity that we have to look so pretty
It’s like the world revolves around us
Girl Power! Don’t you know
We each have our own show
Who needs a prince to help out the plot?
I will be so perfect if you slay all evils

Chorus

Where is my Prince Charming
Where is my Fairy Tale
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the princes gone

Where is my righteous man
Where is his shiny sword
Where is my handsome stranger
Where have all the princes gone
Where have all the princes gone
Where have all the princes gone

See, the crazy thing is, you can dress up as a Disney VILLAIN if you are a boy or you can dress up as Peter Pan, but if you want to dress up as a sword weilding, princess catching, ballroom dancing, make all the girls swoon hottie? Tough luck kid!

My proposal to The Powers That Be at Mouse-Central is to release the appropriate PRINCE stuff at the same time they release the Princess junk merchandise. I'd happily pay for it!!! My poor son is relegated to having Snow White as his assigned Princess Movie on account of I've got dibs on Cinderella (I-III), the Elder Princess Ella has The Little Mermaid and the Younger Princess Ella has Sleeping Beauty. The Yet-To-Be Princess Ella (another story in itself) gets Beauty and the Beast because she is color-coded YELLOW. Don't ask. So Prince Lorenzo has been nicknamed "Prince Charming" and gets Snow White and the Seven Mutant Miners Dwarves.

BRING BACK THE PRINCES!!!!!! Say it loud and proud: I'm a man with a sword and I KNOW how to use it! I protect the weak, can dance like an angel and still not break a sweat even while defeating the forces of evil!