"Erstwhile Apple Pie"

Here's the recipe:

To get started, you need:

2 cups water
1/4 c. golden raisins/cherries
2 T unsalted butter
1 tsp Pumpkin Pie Spice
1 cup old-fashioned (5 minute) oats
1 sweet and crunchy apple

Bring water to a boil. Add raisin/cherry mixture, butter and PPS. Boil until raisins/cherries are plumped up. Dump in the oats and boil for 5 minutes. Stir frequently so it doesn't stick. After 5 minutes, remove from heat.

While oats are resting, slice the apple extremely thinly. Like so thin you could read through the slices. In a bowl, layer the apples and oatmeal (three layers of oatmeal should do it) and then arrange slices of apple on top.

Eat while still warm.

I haven't figured out how many WW points this is, but it's a nice alternative to pastry and it's actually GOOD for you. I suppose you could forego the butter if you really had to, but it makes it nice. I think that this recipe would actually serve two people, but I was HUNGRY. I hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours, so you can imagine.

Where's The Beef (Stew)?

We eat out a lot. Probably a lot more than average. But one thing is certain, even if we don't eat out ANY other time, Wednesday Lunch with Mother Dearest and Nana is a given. We have in our locality pretty much a decent selection of national chains.

Within spitting distance of us we have Dunkin' Donuts/Baskin Robbins, Bennigan's, Outback Steakhouse, Cracker Barrel, Big Boy, Don Pablo's Waffle House, Denny's, Joe's Crab Shack, Logan's Roadhouse, Hops, Orlando Ale House, Steak 'n' Shake, Burger King, McDonald's, Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Ruby Tuesday, Hooters, Panera, Pollo Tropical, Wendy's & Panera. And I'm not even counting the local mom and pop places either. These places are ALL within walking distance of each other. And there's also the mall food court right there, too.

Given that we have so much "variety" you'd think that we wouldn't repeat a restaurant in a month (if not two) of Wednesdays. Even if you don't count the greasy spoons and fast food places. See, that would be too easy. Nana only eats certain types of food. I know it's because her dentures bother her (those are next up for replacing, just after my parents finish paying off her new hearing aids). So we stick to Olive Garden & Red Lobster mostly. If we're feeling REALLY adventurous (and Nana has a doctor's appointment the next town over) we might go to Chili's or a local mom and pop Japanese teppanyaki place. But those are rare occurrences (twice in the last year).

We used to go to Logan's more often, but Nana doesn't like it that much and since it's "her" day, we deal. Besides, they have $2 kid meals on Monday and Tuesday. Steak for $2! Yipes. Me likey. Especially with THREE little ones. I can score 3 meals for the price of 1.5. That's almost like buy one get one free. And lest you worry that I'm not tipping properly, I tip $1 per person and 50 cents for the baby (do the math: $3.50) flat rate. On a less than $12 bill, [rhetorical question] I think that's a decent tip, don't you?

Moving along, since Logan's is out, we've moved on to Cracker Barrel - the subject of today's blog. We (the three kids and I) were 40 minutes +/- LATE to lunch. Why? If you have more than half a kid, you probably know already. The eldest lost her shoes. She's only got one pair at this point (don't ask) so this is NOT GOOD. I'd already spent the morning (okay 20 minutes) ironing their dresses because they wouldn't be caught DEAD in jeans or shorts or anything not made out of cotton sunday-go-to-meetin' dress fabric. And then it was the hair-raising adventure of getting their hair brushed with all the requisite OUCH!!!!!!!es despite the fact that I was merely LOOKING at their hair and not actually touching it. Drama Queens much? And then it was peace talks and hostage negotiations aka "don't tell your sister you hate her. that's not nice. that hurt her feelings." and "give your brother back his toy, it isn't yours and now he's screeching and it's giving me a headache." Shoes found, hair brushed, baby octopus dressed (and that is a feat in and of itself) and out the door. How the instruction to "go to the car" turned into "chase the cat down the driveway and scatter in three different directions", I'll never know. So, we got to Cracker Barrel late.

The children ordered one Mac'n'Cheese lunch (Elder Ella), one kid's pancacke breakfast (Younger Ella). Prince Lorenzo ate some of my veggies. Mother Dearest had fried chicken tenderloins with fried okra and (not fried) pinto beans. She shared some of the chicken with Lorenzo. He wouldn't eat the breading. I don't blame him. Of course, the Ellas had to steal some of her okra (what's new) and the Elder Ella had some of her pinto beans, too. I had the veggie plate: cottage cheese (not a veggie, but I'm not telling), carrots, green beans & turnip greens. Since I've got gallbladder issues, I couldn't have the pepper sauce. Boo hoo. I let the kids have some of my carrots (ok most of them - I ate TWO baby carrots) and my green beans. And Nana? She got the Beef Stew. Or rather, the Beef *Flavored* Stew. It had precisely TWO half-inch square cubes of beef.

When we questioned the waitress, she was very apologetic and said that the item had been pulled from the menu previously because people complained that it didn't have enough beef. Nana wasn't buying it. She was pretty darn mad. Now she generally doesn't complain, but I think she wanted some MEAT. So I said I'd do what every savvy consumer does - BLOG about it. I explained about blogging and the virtual pen being mightier than the sword and whatnot. But I don't think that really got through. I just have to laugh about it, because I had this mental picture of the Wendy's commercial lady from the 80s...

Anyhow, I didn't end up complaining to management - and Nana was well and truly miffed. She was talking "false advertising" and whatnot. I figured it was good for a laugh - and we probably won't go back there again any time soon since Nana pretty much gets the beef(less) stew. Between that and the fact that the bill is pretty much always close to $35+tip for 3 adults and 2.75 kids, I think we'll stick to Olive Garden. There we can generally get away with $25+tip. Give or take.

Chow!

PS: We did give the waitress an almost $7 tip because she said my kids were "so well behaved".

Edit: I HAD to add this picture:

A friend IM'd me and said that she found their food to be pretty crappy. I just can't resist a good opportunity to poke fun using photoshop. Isn't it good I use my power for good and not for evil? Can you imagine what I would be like if I did things like this maliciously? I'd be working for a tabloid!

I made it and it was good

Meatcake that is.

Now before anyone thinks "Oh she's such an original" (and I am but not in this case), I must say, I owe my inspiration to a forum friend of mine (The Original Pez Dispenser) because she pointed me here.

The Prince Consort is turning 34 on Wednesday, and so we're celebrating tomorrow. Yes, Father's Day. We do it every year. So in honor of the Day of the Dad, I made meatcake. Here it is in all it's resplendent potato-y glory:



I've made some glorious cakes in my time since I started my first Wilton class, but I do believe that this one is my all time favorite. For one thing, you don't get a major sugar rush from licking icing off your fingers with a Meatcake. And it's GOOD for you. It's got all the 4 food groups: Milk, Meat, Starch, Veggies. And I'm not just talking about the peas on the outside. It's filled with peas and corn between the layers.

I must say that potato flakes are much easier to work with than buttercreme. At least for me. Once we partake of the gloriousness that is Meatcake, I shall update with pictures of the innards of it. It's truly a glorious thing.

Tofu-winkies

With apologies to The Vegan Lunchbox...

I had to try the Vegan Twinkies, not because I'm particularly veggie-inclined, but rather because they sounded interesting. I love a good recipe and I could care less what the philosophy behind it is. I'm a foodie. I admit it. So I downloaded the original recipe and went on a search for the ingredients I'd never seen before. Barley Malt Powder, anyone? I never could find the barley malt powder - not even at Whole Foods Market (which really ought to be called Whole Fools Market). I bought the Twinkie Pan at Bed Bath & Beyond and then promptly forgot to make the twinkies.

Me being the girl that I am, when I finally got around to actually making the twinkies, I had to experiment with the recipe before even trying the original. What can I say, it's a failing of mine to be insatiably curious about what things would taste like if...

So I used organic whole wheat flour in place of regular flour and replaced 30% of the total amount of flour with soy flour. I wanted them to be reaaaaaaaaaaaly healthy. And since I never was able to find barley malt POWDER, I used Malted Barley syrup. I think it came out ok. Here they are in all their radiant sinsoyful goodness:

They are a nice golden brown and so tasty. The filling came out great but I didn't fill them near as much as a regular twinkie would have been. Couldn't bring myself to do it.

The verdict on taste? Five out of five mouths agree that these things rock. From 13 months to 34 years old, everyone in the house (except the cat who didn't get any) loves them. They taste like food. Not like a vapid sweet thing that has no nutritional value. My husband - The Prince Consort - thinks they taste like an Indonesian cake desert thingy. So it's all good!

Dim Sum For Dummies

I love Dim Sum. So do the kids. Another thing I love is Smuckers Uncrustables. I've had a theory rolling around in my head for a while that given the right conditions and equipment, I could reproduce a reasonable facsimile of the aforementioned Uncrustables.

Well, my theory has been proven sound. I present for your viewing pleasure:

PB&J Potstickers

These were insanely easy to make and pretty tasty to boot. How to do this at home? Read on!

Ingredients:

• Sandwich bread of your choosing. Just make sure it's SOFT.
• Creamy Peanut (or other nut) Butter.
• Spreadable Fruit (I like Cascadian Farms Strawberry)

Equipment:

• Rolling pin
• Spreader
• Dumpling Press
• Round template/biscuit/cookie cutter

How to:

Cut out round shape from slice of bread:

Roll very thin with rolling pin:

Place on dumpling press & spread 1 tsp each of PB&J in exact center of bread:

Fold over dumpling press and press down to make a seal:

End Result:

Place in zip top bag in fridge or freezer until needed.