The Crown She Wears is a Crown that CAREs, folks!

As one of the founders of Crowns that CARE, I'm always on the lookout for stories that speak to our mission: Children Are the Responsibility of Everyone. This is one example of a local Queen helping others in a unique way.

Recently, a friend of mine and fellow "Queen Bee", Mrs. Florida USA Earth, Maureen Heubel, asked a question on Facebook...

I had an idea for a contestant gift but I wasn't sure if people would think it was cheap or stupid. A good friend of mine, Dr. Debra Thomas has a non profit that provides assistance to homeless people in Central Florida and has started her back to school supply drive. This got me thinking that instead of candy, another bookmark etc I could give each delegate a cute photo of a school supply to represent the school supply item I donated in her honor. Thoughts?

Maureen Heubel, Mrs Florida USA Earth

The response was overwhelmingly positive, especially from me. I've been a devotee of Marie Kondo for quite a while and her philosophy for tidying is "Does it spark joy?" Nothing sparks joy for me quite like being able to do for others. And the idea of having something donated in my name for a worthwhile cause sparks an immense amount of joy. Also, not having one.more.thing to clutter up my home (or my hips, thanks candy!) sparks a lot of joy, too. As it turns out, Maureen got the idea from Marie Kondo, too!

To my sister queens, I encourage you to think outside the box like Maureen! Especially if your platform is eco-related.

To my pageant directors, as a contestant I always cringe when I hear "and bring 50 items representing your state/community/etc to give to your fellow contestants as a token gift". I don't want 50 "token gifts" to take home! I'm pretty sure I'm not alone, too, if the response to Maureen's facebook post is any indication. I encourage you to rethink the purpose of these "token gifts", especially at events geared towards children.

I'm not the most ecologically minded human on the planet, but I understand a few things:

1) Too much stuff strangles us and weighs us down.
2) I don't need 50 bookmarks or trinkets or dollar store toys.
3) There are plenty of other ways to show you care about your fellow contestants that don't involve "stuff" to carry home.
4) While it's the "thought that counts", it's incredibly wasteful to dump the "token gifts" in the garbage on your way to the airport.

Here are a few other things that would be much more appreciated:

1) Bottled water with a customized label or tag. If someone gave me a bottle of water as a contestant gift, I'd be SO thankful! Pageants take a lot out of you and being hydrated is so important.
2) Tic Tacs/Breath Mints with a customized label or tag. You never have them when you need them (aka right before interview!). One of my kids' teachers gave them mints at "meet the teacher" with a note saying "You were MINT to be in my class this year". #HintHint
3) Personalized pens are always a great gift! Pencils work too! Everyone needs a spare pen. I puffy heart my my daughter's NAM pens.
4) A photo business card with "Best Wishes" or "Good Luck" hand written on the back. For people who collect business cards, this is a great way to keep in touch. The added bonus is that it's SMALL, can be photographed and stored in your contacts on your phone and enables you to stay in touch with your fellow contestants after the event is over. Because we don't ALWAYS have our phones on us. Except for me. I'm "that" contestant who took a selfie with my fellow contestants ON STAGE during on-stage question. #WorldPeace

In closing, I'm 100% with Maureen! So if "all you get" from me as a contestant gift in your name to a worthy charity, know that it was done out of love for others, the planet and you. Because I know you don't want 50 knick knacks to try and fit in your carryon!

Live Long & Keep Sparkling,

The Empress a.k.a.
2015 Sunshine Foundation Ambassador
2016 Royal International Miss Role Model

We're Paying With Love Tonight

Two days ago, my better half's company decided to completely eliminate his entire department. It wasn't completely unexpected, but was still pretty shocking to get the news. 

There's a ton of emotions involved when something like this happens... But the overwhelming emotion right now is RELIEF. In the last 17 years, my better half has weathered no less than 6 rounds of layoffs. They had to close an entire department to get rid of him. ;)

When we started looking back...

It was his first job out of college.
Now, he has 17 years of experience in a very specialized field that means he is very bankable.

It was how he got sponsored to work in the US. 
Now, he is a naturalized US citizen and can work anywhere and for anyone without worrying about employment-based visas and green card issues.

It was how we qualified to buy a house.
Now, we have the freedom for him to find the *perfect* fulfilling job and we aren't strapped financially thanks to their appreciation of his almost 2 decades of service.

Five years ago (give or take a few), I really didn't have many friends outside his work friends.
Now, I have a circle of friends who I know I can call on if I need support.

When I posted the news on social media, the outpouring of love and support was overwhelming and it helped me through a pretty nasty panic attack. That and my better half being the rock that he has always been. Truthfully, he took it WAY better than I did.

The funny thing is, I'm not one to ask for help. I prefer to GIVE it. But just knowing that if I need it, I can call for help means the world to me. To all my friends, you are loved and appreciated more than you know. I thank God every day for all of you!

And now we move on to another chapter in our lives. Where it will be? That chapter has yet to be written. I just know that wherever we go, whatever happens, it will only be up from here.

We had been stuck in a serious rut for a while. We'd bandied about the idea of moving jobs, moving cities, yada yada, but we never really did anything about it. We'd prayed for a sign...

Apparently we're really dense and haven't seen previous signs, or it needed to be a REALLY BIG ONE to have us realize it as actually being a sign. Either way, we saw it.

I know this is sort of rambly, but it's real. I'll leave you with this thought: Life isn't about the money, money, money. It's about your support system and love.

PS: The KonMari Method really is magical. His job wasn't really sparking joy and it KM'd itself right out of our lives.

{Insert Witty Title Here}

After almost two years' absence from blogging, it feels weird to write anything. Truth be told, I've been using facebook as my platform of choice to post photos, muse a bit and generally give the world a piece of my mind. The thing is, my facebook is set to friends only, so sharing my musings with the world at large is rather tedious.

Most blogs die a lingering death when the author loses interest. And so it goes with this blog which was my savior for a vey long time. But I feel the need to Muse a bit here because... Well... Just because. I'm prompted to blog about a new book I finished last night... It's the "Japanese tidying up" book by Marie Kondo. That's not its proper title, but it distills the essence of it down and if you google the author you'll find it. It was a short read, really. I finished most of it while soaking in the tub.

Cleaning has always been my nemesis. It's a well known fact in my family of origin that I am the messy one. For decades, the tidy, peaceful space has been elusive. The quest for "cleanliness" has been as fraught with disaster as any quest for the Holy Grail. After reading this diminutive book, I realized why.

I had been pursuing the wrong goal and going about it all wrong. The common wisdom says "start with one room" and "do a little every day". The KonMari Method outlined in Ms. Kondo's book starts from an entirely different premise. Instead of starting with a place, you start with a category. You corral all the items of that category in one location and from there you determine whether or not it "sparks joy" when you hold it in your hands. If it doesn't, thank it for its service and dispose of it. It sounds a little out there, but truly, it works.

The above photo shows the entirety of my clean clothes in a pile in the floor. We won't talk about what's in the dirty clothes. When I started, I felt overwhelmed looking at it. "This doesn't include the dirty stuff!", my mind cried. And I really doubted whether or not I could make it work. After all, I had been programmed to believe I could NEVER be a tidy person. But I plugged along while working on a client project (machine embroidery) and the breaks I took to swap out the stuff in the machine made it seem like not so daunting a task.

At the end of it all, I was left with this.

That's right. ONE laundry basket to fold and put away. What became of the huge pile? Some of it went to a trash bag to toss. And some of it went to Goodwill. 4 garbage bags FULL, actually. It felt GOOD. I'm a big fan of Goodwill anyway, and we'd already donated what felt like tons of stuff in the last few weeks, so I did it really believe I had all that much left to give. Hah! Never say never, I guess.

I still have shoes and handbags to sort through. But that's ok. Some will be super easy since I've already donated their matching outfits, lol. #TidyHo

We have decided to erase the word "clean" as a verb from our vocabulary. It brings up a host of negative emotions while the word "tidy" is, according to my 12 year old, a "brighter" word. Tidy conjures up a peaceful space, a restful space that needs minimal intervention. "Clean" only brings To mind endless drudgery and a nagging sense of inadequacy.

As I navigate this new territory of tidying, I will be updating periodically, sometimes here, sometimes facebook, sometimes Twitter and sometimes Instagram. I need the accountability.

Keep Calm and Tidy On