Musings from the Throne Room: January 2008

Monday, January 28, 2008

Grand Theft Auto - Redux

Just a quick note to let loyal readers know that the Prince Consort's car was found - 7 days from the day it went missing. According to the Men In Blue (not to be confused with the MIBs), it is in [quote] undriveable condition [unquote]. What that means remains to be seen, but I'll leave you with a picture of what it DID look like BEFORE it got thefted:

I know the picture isn't the greatest, but you get the idea. This picture is actually almost 8 years old at this point. It was taken just after we closed on this house in April of 2000.

They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To

Or a rant on Why I Hate Modern Patterns.

Let me preface this posting by saying that I am NOT a n00b. I'm actually a decent seamstress and would call myself intermediate/advanced. Now that I've established my creds, here goes:

Modern patterns (a veritable snore of the devil) are NOT made with the same attention to detail, quality and general re-usability of patterns a mere 20 years old. Yep. Whoda thunk I was praising the 80s?

Going back further, patterns from the 1970s - especially childrens' patterns - are superb. If not for fashion sensibility, at LEAST for the fact that once a pattern was cut, you could use it again and again. Why? Because the paper was a MUCH better grade of paper. Thicker and easier to refold. Has anyone tried to refold what passes for patterns these days? Trust me, you don't want to try. All you will get is M.A.D. Or be left with little shreds of paper where it refused to cooperate. Or both.

My favorite patterns are those that range from the early 1940s (how I love printed patterns) to the 70s. Why? Because they came in ONE SIZE. Not FIVE. Multi-size patterns are yet another snore of the devil and the bane of my existence <--- which I've spelled three times and figure "e" in the middle looks better. Especially CHILDRENS' multi-size patterns. Help me boab! When you have five sizes ranging from 1/2 (yes ONE HALF) to 4, it's quite obvious that the cutting lines are going to be ridiculously close together. And don't try actually cutting out the notches. So HERE is the offender:

It looks deceptively simple. There's a mere 21 pieces to the pattern. Yes, you read that correctly TWENTY ONE pieces for standard pajamas.

You could scoff and say "just transfer the pattern to paper and THEN cut it out". And I'd tell you BTDT ThankYouVeryMuch. That was just as much a PITA as doing it the "normal" way. So now, I'm back to the cutting table to finish New Year's Resolution 7.128: DO SOMETHING ABOUT ALL THAT FABRIC THAT IS SITTING IDLE IN YOUR STASH. AKA: Just make the darn outfits before your kids outgrow them.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Good Morning, Good Morning!

Nothing quite starts the day out right like having your car thefted from in front of your house in the dead of night. Yes indeedy, you get this bizarre feeling that you are not in Kansas anymore, Toto. So what do you do? Get mad? Get even? No. You blog. You blog because it is funny. You blog because you know what the car is REALLY like. And you know the joke is on the perp.

Let me begin by saying it wasn't MY car that was stolen. Nosirreebob. It was the Prince Consort's vehicle - aged and decrepit as it was - that was heisted from the street in front of our house. Apparently the remote transmitters for the alarm died 2 days ago. Because that is ALWAYS how things work. The alarm system dies and THEN the car gets stolen. And why not while we weren't even HOME for a month?

Anyhow, the car is gone, it had no theft coverage because of it's age and (lack of) value and so now we're a one conveyance family. Which is to say that we are shuffling schedules to make this work until tax time. We love tax time. Because tax time is bonus time and that means a nice little nest egg with wich we will part company almost as quickly as we make it's acquaintance. And that is fine.

You may be asking yourself why the joke is on the perp. Well, would YOU steal a car that needed a new timing belt? Or that had body damage from a recent fender bender? Or that had a SERIOUS roof leak that let in copious amounts of precipitation Every Time It Rains? See, YOU, faithful reader, are SMART. Or at least have a healthy sense of Good vs Bad Karma. I figure it like this: that car was a beater. It STUNK to high heaven because the carpet was permanently moist from the roof leak. The stereo speakers were busted. It needed a 135,000 mile service and then some.

So, now, faithful readers, I leave you with the following sentiment:

Saturday, January 12, 2008

FW: Olan Mills Awesomeness

Recieved Via Email. I normally don't share forwards, but what's a girl to do when an email rivals the now defunct Threadbared.com?

Sent: Friday, January 11, 2008 3:59

Subject: Olan Mills Awesomeness

Dear family, friends, felons, and fellows:

I thought I had given up on forwarding of e-mail long ago; however, there are rare occasions when I am presented with an e-mail that is so funny it must be shared. This is one such e-mail. Those with weak bladders, or those who are prone to hiccups, or those who suffer from bouts of proctorrhea should take care to prepare for accidents due to heavy laughter. Enjoy.

[sender]

P.S. I was half expecting to see Robert Bradley in his infamous Saxon t-shirt in one of these photos. Alas, it was not to be.

[/end email transmission]

After a brief googling, I found another blogger who is posting it in it's entirety. Here is the link: http://sohos.wordpress.com/2008/01/10/olan-mills-awesomeness/

For those of you too lazy to click the link, I've copied it here:

Actual Olan Mills (and a couple others) photos

Those glasses came free with a purchase of Brut cologne.hose glasses came free with a purchase of Brut cologne.

Thoughtful Lance. Mirthful Lance. Two sides of a delightful coin

Drake won Bitchin’est Senior Mullet by a landslide

The Purvis family made several stops along the Oregon Trail to document their six-month journey. This photo was taken just two weeks before the dysentery took Momma to Jesus.