What happens when

the chores are done and the desk is clean?

You, Dear Readers, get more bloggerific posts from yours truly!

First, I'll treat you to photos of The Elder Princess Ella in her recital costume. Here's a hint, it's a Disney Princess character/movie theme. See slideshow below:

I can not believe that our 3rd ballet recital is coming up in a few short days. My baby is getting so big.

Since the desk is clean, I can see to work on scrapbook pages. Today's installment is from July of 2005:







My how the time flies and the children grow.

The Difference Between "Seeming" & "Being"

Or why Hamlet was only crazy North by Northwest, rather than just plain crazy.

I never graduated from college. I admit it. But one of my favorite classes was a creative writing class where we covered Shakespeare's Hamlet. We critiqued film performances and did scene studies in class. It was obviously something that was a watershed moment in my life for me to remember the details of it close to 15 years after the fact.

In the wee hours this morning, I was contemplating certain things that have transpired on a certain online forum I frequent and the difference between two factions POV on a certain issue. While the details are largely irrelevant to my musings, it is interesting to me how the difference between seeming and being plays out. Recently, Lorenzo has been waking up at 2-ish with a coughing fit and a wet diaper. I usually don't go to sleep until these have been remedied because it is worse for me to sleep a couple of hours and wake up than to just stay up too late and get less sleep overnight. So tonight I was testing my Zen (the media player, not the state of being) and enjoying audio like I'd never enjoyed it before and my mind started to drift... This can be a dangerous thing because once the wheels in my head start to turn, sleep is an impossibility. Good thing "today" is Saturday.

Seeming and Being. So close and yet so far...

For purposes of discussion, we will call the two fractious factions "Polonius" (pronounced PollyAnnas) and "Hamlet". The point of contention between the two is "to be or not to be". Polonius insists that "to be" is the more correct form and Hamlet insists that it ain't necessarily so. Polonius insists that Hamlet is being "glass half empty" all the time and spreading a negative vibe while Hamlet maintains that Polonius just doesn't want to hear his side of things. A disinterested third party would note that the question is NOT "to be or not to be", but rather that both Polonius and Hamlet are seeing but one side of the coin and that at any given time the tide could go either way.

Both sides perceive something to be the case, when it isn't the case at all. It SEEMS to be one way, but the reality (if anyone cared to look closely) is that Hamlet makes a remark, Polonius jumps to a conclusion and blames Hamlet for spreading a negative vibe. Hamlet reacts by channelling Jack Nicholson: "You can't handle the truth" and Polonius points a finger saying "SEE! I TOLD YOU! NEGATIVITY!"

The fact of the matter is that Polonius sees any public verbalization of "not to be" as a negative vibe and pulls a DIPS (Dubya-Inspired Preemptive Strike), trying to squash the negativity. And Hamlet sees THAT as a threat to honesty.

The reality? Both Polonius and Hamlet are right. AND WRONG. All at the same time. To be or not to be. The key is not to be ~threatened~ by the thought of either "being" or "not being" and not to try to foist your state of being (or not) on your compatriot while having empathy for their state of being (or not). Assume a positive intent rather than a negative one. There but for the grace of God go we all.

An Inconvenient Truth

Children, are that is.

They make messes, they puke on you, keep you up at night and generally make a nuisance of themselves. They have a way of consuming us that nothing else does. And it's not like you can send them back. So why do we bother?

It's not like these pint-size tornadoes can actually be safely pigeon-holed and trotted out on display for company. Unless you are royalty, of course. I mean, what's it all about, Alfie?

As a parent, I had PLANS. Oh yes, I did. We would do this and we wouldn't do that and my children would, OF COURSE, be perfect. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Leaving aside the fact that my children ARE perfect, let's examine parenting and how it changes us.

Once upon a time, I was a beautiful, thin person with a perfect manicure and a red convertible sportscar. Five years and three kids later, I'm fluffy (my kids say "really fat") with broken nails and a 5 year old (paid for!) family sedan that has seen it's share of carsickness, pee pee accidents and other things that are too gross to name. At least the car is red like my Mustang was. Do I regret having kids? Hellno. Children strip away all the masks we wear. They show us for who we really are. If we're shallow - it will show. If we're patience-less - it'll show. Children are the true mirror of who we are.

Our priorities shift (or should) when we have kids. Once we become parents, we have these babies who are dependent on us for everything related to survival. I've heard babies compared to puppies or small animals, but even small animals can forage. babies can't do a blessed thing except lay there and look cute (and pee, poop & puke) for the longest time. It's a good thing they are so darn cute, because the newborn stage can be QUITE a trial (unless you get blessed with the Angel Child Who Is Super Easy). I had one easy-ish one, one difficult one and one easy-easy one. But I wouldn't trade any of them for a different model.

I thought parenting was going to be a slam dunk after my first. She was pretty easy going (except in the evenings) and so I thought #2 was going to be just as easy. #2 challenged every notion of what I thought parenting was. #3 simply confirmed that every child is different. What works for one child probably WON'T work for subsequent ones. In fact, I'd bet money on that. But then I can say that because I've been there done that a couple times already.

What's interesting to me is that my husband - who is from SE Asia - has this philosophy based on his upbringing: When you become a parent, YOUR life is no longer as important as that of your child(ren). Your dreams, goals and aspirations are secondary to raising your children. It's not about fitting ~them~ into ~your~ schedule or budget. The irony of this is that in America, where we have so much that is "child-centered", children are largely seen as a status symbol or fashion accessory - not unlike Paris Hilton's pooch. While we see children allowed to do whatever they please, it's not because the parents are necessarily being child-centric but because they don't want to be bothered to get out of their own way to parent. Parenting is HARD WORK. Now in Asia, it might seem that the needs of the one are glossed over in favor of the needs of the many (conformity in culture), but children are seen as the most important legacy a person can leave. Parents go without food so their children can eat. They discipline their children so that they can be productive members of society. They DON'T give in to a child's whims so that the child dosen't have "hang ups".

When I watch my in-laws interact with their children, I see something that I rarely see in the States. I see parents that LOVE their children beyond life itself. Unselfish love. And I am shamed. I am shamed because I KNOW I'm selfish. And I don't always love my children because they just ~are~. That's how our children love us, you know. At least in the beginning. And there's nothing better than baby love and kisses given because they are bursting with love for us. When Lorenzo hugs my hands to his face and gives baby kisses, it melts my heart. And I wonder if I deserve it. I probably DON'T.

Hug your babies, often. Tell them you love them. Don't begrduge them their infancy even if they DO wreak havoc on your schedule. Babies don't come with a Blackberry running Windows Mobile 5.1 with an auto-sync function. They aren't like an iPod that you can sync from one desktop to another. They are dynamic little buggers who challenge every single preconceived notion of who and what we are. They keep us honest.

Even More WNTW

Why has fashion run so amok that only skinny sticklike figures can find clothes that look ... err ... I hestitate to say "decent", but maybe "hip" will do? I made my Target run last night to pick up my meds and noticed that all the clothes for reasonably youngish women looked like maternity wear from last year. Or at least they would on anyone with an ounce of fat.

Now I'm really comfortable in my skin. My clothes are getting looser (never mind the numbers) and I'm happy with that. I can do tons of push-ups and I lift weights occasionally so I know I'm fairly fit. But I am MORE than disgusted with what I'm finding in the stores. Case in point: Dress Barn. I used to work for DB as an assistant manager back in the day (1996) and back then the QUALITY of their merchandise was exceptional for an off-price retailer. NOW? Fuhgedaboutit. I went in the local DB a week ago today and tried on 15 things. NONE of them fit ~properly~. Properly is the key word. The workmanship on the items was pretty shabby. Fabric was bunched up in seams, padding was not even in two tops, zippers were put in "wrong" so that they BUNCHED (this one is a real no-brainer to do right, actually). And for the prices ($30 for a polyester knit top?) I expected better. I was DO disgusted that when the lady helping me enquired as to how I was doing, I let her know that I was unhappy with the workmanship and would have purchase XYZ except it was poorly made. Whether or not she cares, I don't know. But maybe she'll pass it to her DM (district manager). Or not. It's a dangerous thing, knowing how to sew PROPERLY.

Oh to have time to create my own wardrobe. But that day is coming. When we travel overseas in the winter, I'll be having a custom wardrobe made. I LIVE for this.

DWTS....

Suluh that is.




Ok, so I've outed myself. I've got an unusual last name. And it rhymes with that dude from the classic Star Trek series played by George Takei:

Hikaru Sulu

When I got married, my previous employer gave me a model of the NCC-1701C Enterprise (not that Sulu served on that ship, but hey, it's a mere detail) on account of my name. Sadly, hardly anyone GETS IT when I say "Suluh, like the guy on Star Trek". Cretins, the lot of them. Oddly enough, The Prince Consort does resemble Sulu a bit. But only a little. See for yourself:

The Prince Consort & The Empress circa 2001

On to DWTSuluh... Actually we met when I was a teacher at a (now defunct) ballroom studio. You could say it was love at first sight dance, but that wouldn't exactly be true. I thought he was kinda nerdy and needed fashion help. QE4TSG anyone? What I fell in love with was his dance ability first and foremost. HONEST!!! I wanted him for a student to break the monotony of newb after newb who was never gonna go past the intro special (4 private lessons, some groups and parties). He was in it for the long haul and was a "lifer" if you will. Well, his first teacher quit and I thought I had a chance. WRONG. His second teacher quit and I thought I had a chance. WRONG AGAIN! Third time is the charm, right? WRONG. He got placed with the studio owner's wife (major strike-out for me) and then didn't renew his lesson contract (yes, it was a contract, no matter how they tried to deny it). What's a girl to do?

Drown her sorrows at the bar and make friends with the bartender Bruce, that's what. So I did just that. Was it coincidence that this same bar was inside the club where TFPC (The Future Prince Consort) went dancing every night? Was it coincidence that I generally had on my fuzzy pink man-catcher sweater? You decide. Now, I wasn't necessarily out to catch THIS man. I'd just broken up with my latest in a string of "inappropriate men" as Alex Karev would say on Grey's Anatomy.

Apparently the sweater worked, though. TFPC snuck up behind me (ninja-like reflexes) and caressed my neck and kissed me. Thoroughly kissed me, I might add. I was SO not expecting that from him. Everyone knows that Asian guys are like SO reserved and non-spontaneous, right? WRONG! Upon later questioning the atypical behaviour, he said (and I quote) "You looked like you needed it..." I still swoon every time I think of it.

We had our first date on February 13th, 2000 and were married on September 2nd, 2000. Funny thing is, when I was praying for a mate, there were only 3 criteria on my list:

1. Be a better dancer than me
2. Love me unconditionally
3. Love God as much as I do

Looks weren't a factor. Money wasn't a factor. Race, etc. Not a factor. All I can say is that the three specifics were answered - even better than I could have anticipated. The fact that we're both gamers, well, that was a bonus that even TPC wasn't expecting.

I'll never forget the first time he realised I'm a gamer chick... I was over at his apartment and he was cooking dinner. I got to claim the PlayStation and got into FFVIII (Final Fantasy 8 for those of you not in the know) when I saw it in the pile of games by the TV. Previously we'd played some samurai something or other (Soul of the Samurai). He never offered FFVIII because in his words "I didn't think you'd be into RPGs" (role playing games, not rocket propelled grenades). I had to school him in the facts that I was BIG into The Black Cauldron and Kings Quest. Can it get any better than this?

Seven years, three kids and 40 pounds later... We're in this for the long haul. And we're loving every minute of it.

Oh yeah... And the sweater got retired a LONG time ago. It served it's purpose.

The Steroid Novena

A novena is a prayer said for nine consecutive days for a special intention. In my case, I have to take a corticosteroid for nince consecutive days to fix what ails me (massively inflamed tendons/muscles). Surely I'm not the only person who giggles at this.

What led to this state of affairs? Well, a long time ago, I was a cocky teenager who didn't think I needed to warm up before doing a kick over my head and then landing in a split. And then ended up with a dislocated hip the night before our exchange group was flying home from Russia. Being embarrassed enough for getting intro trouble with too much Stolichnaya, I didn't seek medical attention and down played the injury. Nothing like being a stupid 16 year-old, right?

Anyhow, I've dealt with this injury on and off for over half my life now. I've never really been treated for it and so now old age (ha ha) has caught up with me. After three sleepless (not in Seattle) nights of P.A.I.N., I sought recourse to my sports-medicine doc. I love Dr M. He rocks. He has a way of diagnosing exactly what is wrong quickly and getting to the bottom of things with a simple "Does this hurt?" "Yup. Here's what your problem is...".

So I've got a script for Oxycodone/Acetomenaphin (Generic for Percocet before anyone gets their knickers in a knot) and my 'roids. I can so see me turning into der Arnold... or worse... Mr T... this next week (or not). Dr M has such a sense of humour. He told me to be aware that I "might want to bite people's heads off" due to the steroids but "not to worry, that's normal". God help us all! I already chew people up and spit them out as it is. I was told that my normal routine of KB and Yoga/Pilates would be a GOOD thing to keep up while medicated for the next while so that I can get out the aggression and maintain calm. Good thing there's also Tai Chi Chuan on Wednesdays...

So stay out my way fool... Just kidding. You know I love y'all!

Baby Loves Jazz

And so does mommy! This disc is probably my favorite children's music disc of all time. I've spent a small fortune on music to broaden my kids horizons - Tom Jones to Barry Manilow and Abba to Shakira. You name it, we've got it. But this one is a particular favorite of mine.

I picked this up at the local Whole Fools Market this past Saturday (gotta love those impulse buys). The baby digs it so much it's awesome. He loves "Happy And You Know It" (track two). It's got this way awesome West Coast Swing rhythm and he claps along with it. As the saying goes "It's got a beat and I can dance to it!".

I think most anyone would love this. Let me be plain, it blows Baby Einstein CDs out of the water as far as listen-ability. First, it's REAL instruments not synthesized ones. Second, it's children's music done to adult rhythms (although I'd posit that Jazz transcends age barriers). This stuff SWINGS. I've counted West Coast Swing, Balboa, Lindy and Collegiate Shag (IIRC) among the rhythms. As a dancer, this thrills me to pieces.

A+ from the kids and 5 dance steps from me.

Just when you thought it couldn't be any worse...

Billy Ray Cyrus takes to the dance floor again. My 85 year-old grandmother who has dementia can move better than him and she's bed-ridden most of the time. I'm sorry, but he's GOT to go this week. It wouldn't be fair to Lilo & Stitch Ian & Cheryl.



Granted, tonight they stomped through most of their foxtrot routine and the rumba was more of a "what dance IS that" than a rumba... But still, they didn't suck nearly as bad as Billy Ray.



Bruno said that Laila is turning into a marvellous obsession (he's right), but Billy Ray is turning into a TRAIN WRECK. He's painful to watch yet you can't NOT watch. And that gentle readers is all I have on this for tonight. It's late and I shall update you later, when I have more photos to share.

Oh yes, one more thing...

APOLO ANTON OHNO ROCKS MY SOCKS.

Just thought I'd get that off my chest.

Household Principles for Children

I ran across this somewhere on the web before I ever had kids and thought it was funny. I had no idea that it was TRUE. I never imagined that I would be saying anything remotely like these to my own kids, but there you go... I WISH I could lay claim to this one as my very own, so, while it's not mine, I think it is a worthwhile (and amusing) read:

Household Principles for Children
Based on the Old Testament
(Lamentations of a Father)
by Ian Frazier

Laws of Forbidden Places:

• Of the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight you may eat, but not in the living room.
  
  
• Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, you may eat, but not in the living room.
  
  
• Of the cloven-hoofed animal, plain or with cheese, you may eat, but not in the living room.
  
  
• Of the cereal grains, of the corn and of the wheat and of the oats, and of all the cereals that are of bright color and unknown provenance you may eat, but not in the living room.
  
  
• Of quiescently frozen dessert and of all frozen after-meal treats you may eat, but absolutely not in the living room.
  
  
• Of the juices and other beverages, yes, even of those in sippy-cups, you may drink, but not in the living room, neither may you carry such therein.
  
  
• Indeed, when you reach the place where the living room carpet begins, of any food or beverage there you may not eat, neither may you drink.
  
  
• But if you are sick and are lying down and watching something, then may you eat in the living room.

Laws When at the Table:

• And if you are seated in your high chair, or in a chair such as a greater person might use, keep your legs and feet below you as they were.
  
  
• Neither raise up your knees nor place your feet upon the table, for that is an abomination to me.
  
  
• Yes, even when you have an interesting bandage to show, your feet upon the table are an abomination and worthy of rebuke.
  
  
• Drink your milk as it is given you, neither use on it any utensils, nor fork, nor knife, nor spoon for that is not what they are for; if you will dip your blocks in the milk and lick it off, you will be sent away.
  
  
• When you have drunk, let the empty cup then remain upon the table and do not bite it upon its edge and by your teeth hold it to your face in order to make noises in it sounding like a duck: for you will be sent away.
  
  
• When you chew your food, keep your mouth closed until you have swallowed, and do not open it to show your brother or your sister what is within; I say to you, do not so, even if your brother or your sister has done the same to you.
  
  
• Eat your food only; do not eat that which is not food; neither seize the table between your jaws, nor use the raiment of the table to wipe your lips.
  
• I say again to you, do not touch it, but leave it as it is.
  
  
• And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not with it upon the table even in pretend for we do not do that. That is why.
  
  
• And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not stand them upright to make a forest because we do not do that. That is why.
  
  
• Sit just as I have told you and do not lean to one side or the other, nor slide down until you are nearly slid away. Heed me for if you sit like that your hair will go into the syrup. And now behold, even as I have said, it has come to pass.

Laws Pertaining to Dessert:

• For we judge between the plate that is unclean and the plate that is clean, saying first: if the plate is clean, then you shall have dessert.
  
  
• But of the unclean plate the laws are these: If you have eaten most of your meat and two bites of your peas with each bite consisting of not less than three peas each or in total six peas eaten where I can see and you have also eaten enough of your potatoes to fill two forks, both forkfuls eaten where I can see, then you shall have dessert.
  
  
• But if you eat a lesser number of peas and yet you eat the potatoes, still you shall not have dessert; and if you eat the peas yet leave the potatoes uneaten, you shall not have dessert, no, not even a small portion thereof.
  
  
• And if you try to deceive by moving the potatoes or peas around with a fork, that it may appear you have eaten what you have not, you will fall into iniquity and I will know and you shall have no dessert.

On Screaming:

• Do not scream; for it is as if you scream all the time. If you are given a plate on which two foods you do not wish to touch each other are touching each other, your voice rises up even to the ceiling, while you point to the offense with the finger of your right hand; but I say to you, scream not, only remonstrate gently with the server, that the server may correct the fault.
  
  
• Likewise if you receive a portion of fish from which every piece of herbal seasoning has not been scraped off, and the herbal seasoning is loathsome to you and steeped in vileness, again I say, refrain from screaming.
  
  
• Though the vileness overwhelm you and cause you a faint unto death, make not that sound from within your throat, neither cover your face, nor press your fingers to your nose. For even I have made the fish as it should be; behold, I eat it myself, yet do not die.

Concerning Face and Hands:

• Cast your countenance upward to the light and lift your eyes to the hills, that I may more easily wash you off. For the stains are upon you; even to the very back of your head, there is rice thereon. And in the breast pocket of your garment, and upon the tie of your shoe, rice and other fragments are distributed in a manner wonderful to see.
  
  
• Only hold yourself still; hold still, I say. Give each finger in its turn for my examination thereof, and also each thumb. Lo, how iniquitous they appear.
  
  
• What I do is as it must be; and you shall not go hence until I have done.

Various Other Laws, Statutes, and Ordinances:

• Bite not, lest you be cast into quiet time.
  
  
• Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of the bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, not against any building; nor eat sand.
  
  
• Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape?
  
  
• And hum not the humming in your nose as I read, nor stand between the light and the book. Indeed, you will drive me to madness.
  
  
• Nor forget what I said about the tape